Surgery

People are hearing rumors. I guess it is time to confirm. Yes, I am having a weight loss surgery on Feb 10th. It is not a Gastric Bypass or the ever so popular Lap Band. I am having a Gastric Sleeve procedure done laparoscopically. The Gastric Sleeve is much less invasive than the bypass and has less complications. The weight loss over time is practically the same. This is something that I almost did 9 years ago before we started trying to have children. I waited because I wanted to get pregnant right away. When we had fertility issues and couldn't get pregnant for so long I kicked myself for not going through with it. I blamed myself and my life long battle with weight and was told I would never be able to get pregnant on my own. But, miracles do happen and along came Daniel...followed rapidly by Jaxon, Wesley, and Garrett. Surprise.

So why am I having surgery?

I passed the 200 lb. mark in 5th grade. After Jaxon was born I lost over 70 pounds making it back down to 220. Two more babies later and I am back where I started. I do not feel weight loss surgery is the easy way out or an instant fix. I know I have to change my life style and this is just one of the tools I am choosing to use. Yes, it is drastic but people who know me should not be surprised that I would do something drastic. I turn 30 on Feb 7th. We can just label this my "mid-life crisis."

People who have never carried an excessive amount of extra weight around do not know how many aspects of your life are affected by being obese. Nothing I wear fits correctly. My knees hurt. I can't comfortably cross my legs when I wear dresses anymore. I want a pair of knee high black leather boots but my calves are too big for them to fit correctly. I turn sideways to walk through the bathroom door in our trailer (granted it is a half size door, but still). I am embarrassed to meet guys Johnny works with...guys talk. I don't want my children to ever be made fun of because of the way their mom looks dropping them off at elementary school. I don't want to have to use a seat belt extender when we fly to Florida in May for our family reunion. I want to shop at normal stores. I want to be alive to see my children and grandchildren get married. I want to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ after Johnny retires and I need to be healthy enough to go. I have 4 very active boys..how can I keep up with them if I am not healthy? Heck, I even want to be able to ride the roller coasters at Magic Mountain without worrying if the safety harness will fit! When you are obese so many little things matter when they shouldn't. I am tired of living this way.

Is my insurance going to cover it?

No. We are paying cash. I do not have diabetes, sleep apnea, or any other contributing conditions that my insurance requires to pay for the procedure. I don't want to continue down this path until I do have them so I am taking this step now. Yes, we have a secondary insurance policy in place to cover complications. In the long run it will cost me less to pay cash now than to pay medical bills for health problems later.

Johnny is 100% supportive, as always! He made sure to tell me that I don't have to do this and that he loves me the way I am. Gosh I love that man! I was not really telling anyone, but he told me I should. Johnny is a spiritual giant. He told me that I shouldn't go into surgery without people I love and that love me praying for my safety. I have never had surgery before. My only anesthesia has been for wisdom teeth. I am a little scared but mostly excited. Your prayers on my behalf are very much appreciated.

Wish me luck and watch me melt! I want to lose 150 pounds (or more). That is an entire normal sized person! I know I can do it!

Rice Update

Jaxon has been doing well with rice since we returned from Denver. He has only thrown-up once which happened to be in the back of our Expedition on our 10 year wedding anniversary. Johnny was gone for work and I was alone with the boys. Once they were in bed I spent the night crying in the back of the car cleaning up vomit. Needless to say Johnny owes me a make-up. But, who knows if Jaxon was sick due to rice or something else?

The best part about rice is the variety. Every day Jaxon begs for a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch. If I let him he would eat slices of rice cheese at every meal. Before rice we used Diaya cheese which is great, but he likes the rice cheese slices better. Of course then there are rice crispy treats and dinners with Spanish rice which is always a big hit. It always makes my life so much easier to be able to tell him YES when he asks for the same food my other boys are eating.

My problem now? He likes eating too much. I find myself regulating his portions because he constantly tells me he's hungry. This morning he had pumpkin pancakes, low fat chocolate soy milk, strawberries, bacon, and coconut strawberry yogurt. Not even 30 minutes later he will follow me around telling me "I'm still hungry!" Is he just a growing boy? Daniel will eat like a horse for breakfast then not really want much of anything for dinner. Do I keep giving Jaxon more? He is built like me. Daniel and Wesley are not. Their body types are different than Jaxon. I have struggled with weight my entire life. I don't want that for him.

Ontario

We are now officially back in Ontario full time. Jaxon is going to the same preschool Daniel was in the last time we were here. He loves it! Daniel is finally back in Kindergarten. It took a few days and a lot of phone calls but we made it happen. The school he was supposed to go to was completely full as well as the other 9 in the district that I contacted. After a conversation with the Assistant Superintendent about transferring to another district they found a spot for him with a really amazing teacher. It is only his 3rd day but he really loves his class. The first night they sent homework I decided it was a good spot for him. In Bakersfield they sent home 3-4 pages a week which Daniel would complete in about 3 minutes. This teacher sends home 8-15 pages of homework per week as well as projects for social development (such as chores to do around the house and calling friends on the phone to learn phone etiquette and manners). My only problem now is the scheduling. Jaxon's preschool is 9-noon, Daniel goes 10:30-2:30. I feel like I am running every which way every 90 minutes! Try fitting in naps for the other boys sometime in between and I am about to pull my hair out.

Johnny has actually been working in Anaheim for a few weeks. He gets excited when he works on any lines labeled DISNEY! There were a few issues yesterday. His crew was heating up some lines (aka turning the power back on) with the inspector after another crew had finished working on them previously. Not too long before fire trucks went screaming by. There was an explosion in a hand hole at an apartment complex connected to the line they were working. Apparently something was mislabeled and wires were crossed. Scary! No one was hurt but all the guys had to go through drug screening. He should be sent back to work in Riverside next week on some transmission lines. He likes working at night when they pull the lines over freeways. Depending on the crew he is placed with he may get some time hanging from a helicopter. Yikes!

Garrett is so beyond adorable. He is six months old with six teeth (maybe it is a good thing I had to stop nursing) and a smile to absolutely die for! Too bad he will never do it when I pull out a camera. He is so close to crawling it is ridiculous. An infant crawling in our trailer with the other boys running back and forth is not such a great thing.

Wesley is a maniac! He rides Jaxon's razor scooter and Daniel's skateboard up and down the street all day long. He wants to be just like his brothers. He has picked up quite a few of my older boy's potty words. For some reason "stupid head" sounds so sweet coming from him. We are constantly working on fixing the problem. It got much worse over Christmas when we took his binkie away. Now there is nothing to mute him with! Next I have to tackle potty training. Ugh! I have put it off too long already.

Welcome 2012

Christmas was wonderful but hectic. We moved from Bakersfield to Ontario on Friday the 23rd, which was also Daniel's last day of kindergarten. Immediately after setting up the trailer in our new location we headed to my parent's house for Christmas weekend. Diana is back from India with June and it was the first opportunity we had to see them. The kids played and played

We woke up Christmas morning a little after 5am to the sound of a fire engine.Daniel was very excited that after 3 years (really) of begging he finally got a battery powered fire engine.

Jaxon was super excited for a new Lightning McQueen bike and some Thor gear.

Wesley loved his new Lightning McQueen bed but was a little less excited when he realized it meant he no longer has a binkie. I have been putting off a few items of business with Wesley such as breaking him of the binkie and potty training until after Christmas. He is not so excited for the New Year as I am!

Wesley's favorite present of all came from Daniel. It is a ball he bought him at the school Santa shop.

Garrett was mesmerized by the whole experience. He spent most of the time being passed between everyone so we could open gifts. He was so cute in his little elf outfit! I got him two, the other was Santa, just in case he had a blow out which of course he did!

Garrett is almost crawling. He is great at reverse, getting stuck under furniture, and going in circles, but has yet to go forward. Now he has moved onto sticking his bum into the air while on fingers and toes, then face plants and screams at the injustice of it all!

He also has his 4 front top teeth coming in and has not been such a happy camper.

June was super excited about her Cozy Coup and opened most of her presents sitting inside of it. She is so precious.

Johnny did good this year and bought me a pink bath robe and silver earring. Love them! Most everyone this year got a digital picture frame, but not us. We got a Blue Ray player from my parents. After the gift opening frenzy we headed to a very early 9am sacrament meeting. I love the Christmas music and the spirit it brings. I think church is the prefect place to be on Christmas morning. The night before Christmas Santa visited, then we read the Christmas story and talked about Jesus. It is special to hear them talk about Jesus' birthday and why we celebrate Christmas. They are finally old enough to start understanding the real reason we celebrate.

For the New Year we headed to Arizona to meet our new renters and have a Christmas tree bonfire with friends. Note to self: Never stay at the Travelodge! Now that we are back and life moves forward as normal I am sad the holidays are over but excited for what 2012 will bring!

Jaxon's 1st Rice Crispy Treat

His brothers were partaking as well. Daniel obviously stole Wesley's sippy cup but he doesn't seem to mind.

Where to next?

Riverside. Johnny made a positive impression with the General Foreman while on storm work and the company requested he stay with them on a more long term basis. Since it is close to where we were before in Ontario, CA we are going to move back. It will be nice to walk into church and not see all strangers!

Bah Humbug!

The last few weeks have been rough but at the same time we have had a lot of great things happen. I need to focus on the good more! So here is goes...

Daniel is learning to skateboard, Jaxon can now ride his bike without training wheels, Garrett is sitting up and makes my heart melt when he smiles. Wesley says no to everything now even when he wants to say yes. His laugh is one of the sweetest sounds in the world. Daniel is reading like crazy and is at the top of his class. He wants to grow his hair out and have a mohawk over the summer (dreading it!), Jaxon can write his name. My boys can recite the first few articles of faith. When I don't go to bed kicking myself for being the biggest failure of a mother this world has ever seen completely convinced my children will hate me for all time, I think maybe I'm not doing too bad.

Jaxon started eating rice. He loves it. He even had his first real rice crispy treat. No sign of reaction yet. No vomiting or gagging yet. I think we may have a keeper but only time will tell.

The other night at my parent's house we decorated the tree. Whenever we would hand Wesley a safe ornament to hang on the tree he would hook it on his bottom lip, walk over to the tree, and pull off whatever ornament was most recently hung by one of his brothers. It was so cute but made for a long decorating process.

Johnny was called out for storm work on Friday. It has been all over the news the last week how many people are out of power in southern CA. Something like 100,000 due to strong winds blowing trees on the power lines. Over 100 crews were sent and we are lucky Johnny has a place on one of them. They are working 24 hour rotations then taking a mandatory 8 hour break before doing another 24 hours. They will work like that until all power is restored, at least a week. Maybe more since another wind storm is supposed to be coming that direction. It is not a permanent placement, it is just a short call for the storm, but then he will go back to the top of the waiting list where he was and hopefully we will know where we are moving soon. Until then I am manning the heathens on my own, Valley Fever and all.

I love Christmas and all it stands for. I have to say I am overwhelmed and feel more like Scrooge than anything, but I am trying to get in the spirit. This year has been one of our hardest. It was emotionally, physically and spiritually draining. As I was driving home tonight with my bags of medication and a car full of screaming hungry children I saw this bumper sticker and couldn't help but give the guy an Amen!

Amen brother, Amen!